Thursday, October 6, 2011

More Moodiness

Remember last week when I had you think about similes? Similes are one way to add mood to your story, but here are two more ways:

1. Fast, clipped sentences are great when you want to show fear, panic, anxiety, and anger.
She needed to leave now!

Repeating a word adds to that.
Now! She needed to leave now! Right now!

2. On the flip side, longer sentences filled with adjective and adverbs are best when you want to describe happiness, contentment, or even loneliness or sadness.

When the coach handed me the golden trophy, I felt as though my heart would burst.

His brown eyes gazed down at the messy spill on the cafeteria floor, and he desperately wished he could make himself invisible.

You can do this with dialogue, too.
"I can't leave now!"

"Leave now? I can't leave now!"

"Getting this shiny, golden trophy has meant the world to me. I've never thought I'd be this excited to get a mini statue of a soccer player."

"I cannot believe I spilled my lunch," Jake said. "Everybody is staring at me like I'm a loser."

Your turn. Dig out a piece of writing and edit, edit, EDIT!

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